Escape of the Wild Goatee
Dixon Stuelke © 2024
Gallimauf One
A Wild Goatee can be troublesome. Children stare, parents glare, police beware. Friendly faces are rare, usually wild with hair. A Wild Goatee gets into your food, or your food into it, whichever. A Wild Goatee wants to jump in spinning power tools, and, occasionally, captures a bee. It’s not a good look to sport, given its only advantage is ease of grooming.
Taming the Wild Goatee
Step 1
Wild Goatee
constrained to a braid
Sunday morning
Step 2
Goatee Braid
constrained to a Beardybun
Sunday morning
The Wild Goatee Escape
The Braided Beardybun is much better than the Wild Goatee. The few second looks it gets are friendly. It stays out of your food, and your food out of it. It can’t get near spinning tools and never attracts any bees. It’s a better look than the Wild Goatee and much worth the extra work grooming. But it doesn’t last long. Immediately, imperceptibly, the Braided Beardybun begins to uncoil.
Braided Beardybun
after slowly uncoiling
Monday evening
It uncoils to a corkscrew, which elicits a mixture of responses, from the sidelongiest glances to the most enthusiastic compliments. It still stays clear of your food and mostly your spinning tools if you watch it, and never can capture a bee. But, again imperceptibly, it begins to unbraid.
Braided Beardybun
uncoiled to a corkscrew
sometime Tuesday
It slowly continues uncoiling and unbraiding.
Braided Beardybun
further uncoiled
sometime Wednesday
Braided Beardybun
uncoiled and unbraiding
sometime Thursday
Wild Goatee
almost escaped
sometime Friday
Wild Goatee
escaped, almost wild
sometime Saturday
Wild Goatee
free at last
the following Sunday
And so it returns to gathering negative attention, grabbing at your food and power tools, tangling with bugs, until sporting a better look grows important enough to retame it all over again.
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