I found two copies of the urination so-called essay — one a marked-up draft noting “changes made”, the other an email reflecting the edits, to the Chicago Reader column “The Straight Dope”, which started like: “Jun  14,  1996 “Dear Cecil Adams, “In response to your column, ‘The Straight Dope’ in the January 12, 1996 Chicago Reader, I […]

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SuperVac WindScoop Dixon Stuelke ©  2024 Gallimaufs, Specimen Three Actually, the SuperVac was created before the WindScoop, out of an antique shopvac.   Originally, the vacuumings just dropped into a tank, and the filter was a bag covering the motor.    It didn’t filter out fine particles, so using it could make the air around you […]

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Hyperdreams By Dixon Mason Pseudonym for: Dixon Stuelke ©  2024 Gallimauf Two My eyes glazed over at the long eccentric professor thundering theories and mathematic reflections.  The bald head, the fluffy tufts, the shoes . . . he began to resemble Bozo the Clown.    It reminded me of my similarly-endowed junior-high music teacher, “Bozart”. “Are you catching […]

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A Wild Goatee can be troublesome. Children stare, parents glare, police beware. Friendly faces are rare, usually wild with hair. A Wild Goatee gets into your food, or your food into it, whichever. A Wild Goatee wants to jump in spinning power tools, and, occasionally, captures a bee. It’s not a good look to sport, given its only advantage is ease of grooming.

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